Mom says, "Old age stinks!"

My mother is a sweet, gentle, private lady, and strong--very strong.

She isn't perfect. While growing up, she held all emotion tight within her chest. We were never cuddled. I don't even remember being hugged until after Steve died. She softened then and became more vulnerable. But even growing up without hugs or kisses, I respected her as an amazing lady. When David was so little and sick...all of our money went to pay medical bills and our fear for his health kept our emotions raw. Yet, anytime things got rough, I would think, "What would mom do?" and I'd pull myself up and convince myself that almost empty glass was really half full.

No, she isn't perfect, but she's one of the most amazing women I've ever met.

This blog was intended to let people who love her, but do not live here, know how she is doing. The last few weeks have been difficult and I feel to give you further examples of her health would be betraying her privacy. She would want all of you to remember her as she was.

Please continue to call her and send cards. You may talk to her and she will appear to be fine; then again, tonight she didn't know if she was talking to me or Judy. She did remember that our friend, Diane, came to see her today and got to hear the piano player. Her mind works as if it has a short circuit...sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't.

Many of you call and visit us to check on mom and we appreciate your love and concern. You are all welcome to contact me or Dave, but since Judy's daughters and Steve's daughter now live in this area of North Carolina and Steve's son Michael and his wife Michele stay in touch you may also want to talk to them to see how mom is doing. I can no longer announce to the world mom's deteriorating mental condition. I feel I'm going behind her back, and I promised her we were in this together and I would be honest with her at all times. She is embarrassed by her condition and does not want people to know.

She is emotionally very fragile. I do ask that you be very careful and not give her any bad news. It's important that her world stay as calm and happy as possible.

Remember her beauty inside and out and feel free to contact us at anytime. We're doing our best...please keep all of us in your prayers.

This blog is closed.

Marsha

All is well...except for being old.

Good news: No bad news to report!

Mom is doing well. She went to her GP and he said she is doing fine. Her blood work is in and it's fine.

Saturday she got a perm and yesterday I made her a batch of bread pudding.

Take care!
Marsha

Good news about Mom

But surprising news...at least for me it's surprising. For the last few months Mom has been negative, frustrated and angry about being old. I talked to her this morning and she was in an average mood; talked to her this afternoon and she was in a great mood. I picked her up at 2:00 for a doctor appointment and she was smiling, joking and very happy.

I told her she seemed not only happier but stronger. She was walking much faster than usual. Had a bounce in her step and needed almost no help at all when going up a step. I asked what she had for breakfast and she said "brain flakes"

She passed the doctor's tests as well as she did 6 months ago, and even got one right she's never gotten right before. The dr. told her she was doing fine and was stable, and I said -- wait! I've been putting up with a grumpy woman for four months and the woman you are seeing is happy and strong. He explained, with Mom's dementia it goes in cycles, peaks, and valleys, and things are exaggerated. He said her mood could have been caused by an event, or fall and winter; or if she can not trust one person, she then believes her items are stolen instead of lost.

When we left she was talking about taking a vacation, and I told her she'd come a long way from last week when Marilyn said she'd see her next February and Mom said--I don't intend on being here next year. Mom then said she couldn't believe she'd said such a thing.

She asked the doctor if her dementia would get worse and he said the goal is to keep her stable and she's stable. He said we would all like to go up in a cloud, but after 50 our warranty expires.

She doesn't have another appointment for 6 months. Tonight she is one happy camper!

Marsha

Sometimes we laugh...sometimes we cry

Dear Friends,

With my surgery and the holidays, the last few months have been nonstop. We thought after Christmas everything would die down and we could relax, but life has thrown us a new turn.

It's sad because Mom knows her mind is getting worse, but we're blessed because we can be honest with each other. Sometimes she and I laugh about old age and sometimes we cry, but thank God we can still communicate!

Mom tells me she is having what she calls nightmares while she's awake and they upset her very much! Afterward, she can describe the "nightmare" and she knows her thoughts were not real, but seemed real at the time. I've read with vascular dementia she can have hallucinations and delusions--I suppose we are entering that stage.

Her neurologist explained it is a "disruption of deep areas of the brain" and is part of vascular dementia caused by wear and tear on her small blood vessels.

He said he is optimistic she can be helped with medication. He prescribed a few days of pills, and will adjust the medicine again on Monday. So far she is doing well. She had a very slow start this morning, but we went to lunch and got her hair done this afternoon. She told me this evening she felt great and was thanking God and Dr. Schmechel.

For now she's sleepy in the morning, and napping a little before dinner, but tonight after dinner she was awake, watering her plants, and was laughing! I hope the medication works and she isn't confused when you call, but if it happens, remember it's temporary and the next time you talk to her she may be just fine.

Love,
Marsha

She's fine.

Life has been extremely busy lately with more doctor's appointments--for me--Mom is fine.

I had two wisdom teeth removed on Friday, so I had Mom's nails done last Wednesday and David took her to lunch and got her hair done today.

My birthday was on the first of November, so Mom's been eating plenty of good food. We went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory Wednesday night. It was so cute. Wyatt and Mom road around the mall with Mom in her wheelchair and Wyatt on her lap. They were both grinning from ear to ear.

On Thursday, Nov. 2, Linda, a friend and caterer call me at work and wanted to know what we were doing that night....nothing. Good, she said. She was bringing over dinner for fifteen!!! I had no problem finding people who wanted to come to dinner. On top of being a wonderful chef, she is a wonderful person...Mom loves her. So Mom got to eat Linda's food, plus have a nice visit!

On Friday Mom went to I-Hop for lunch and a friend came over for dinner.

Last Saturday I took Mom to lunch and got her hair fixed. She ordered a breakfast skillet and ate almost all of it. David said she ate every bite of her blueberry waffle today.

Sunday I brought Mom over after Sunday School, Sheri, Charles and baby Max drove over for the day and David, Urs and Wyatt came to see the baby...so we had a house full all day. I cooked all of Mom's favorite food, so she has probably gained five pounds in a week.

This past week, I was busy trying to arrange Mom's clothes so she'll have no trouble keeping track of them. Sheri took her on a shopping spree just a month ago for a winter wardrobe and she now believes she has no slacks. I haven't found a great system yet, but I haven't given up. Mom and I are in agreement to try outsmarting old age for as long as we can, but this problem has us stumped.

If her closet isn't full of clothes she gets upset, believing she has little to wear, but if her closet is full she's overwhelmed with the selection and too frail to deal with the volume. Her world is narrow and clothes are extremely important to her.

The rest of the year is going to be extremely busy. Thanksgiving, my ear surgery, Christmas shopping, and Dave's sister is spending Christmas week with us. I'll update you if anything important happens, but the next two months, will be nonstop. Mom is well and I remind you the best way to communicate with her is by mail. She sometimes forgets how to check her voice mail and then sometimes forgets what she heard. With cards and letters she can read them over and over always having a friendly greeting at hand.

Take care.
Marsha

She's happy!

Mom has had a good week. We've adjusted her medication and she is happy, funny, and last but not least...Awake!

Have a good day!
Marsha

Otosclerosis

Below is more information, just in case anyone else has hearing problems. Have a nice evening.... Marsha

Medical Encyclopedia: Otosclerosis

URL of this page: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001036.htm

Definition

Otosclerosis is an abnormal bone growth in the middle ear that causes hearing loss.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

Otosclerosis is an inherited disorder, which means it is passed down through families. In this condition, an abnormal sponge-like bone grows in the middle ear. This growth prevents the ear from vibrating in response to sound waves -- which must happen in order for you to hear. This lack of vibration leads to hearing loss that continues to get worse with time.

Otosclerosis is the most frequent cause of middle ear hearing loss in young adults. It affects about 10% of the population of the United States, and is most common seen in women ages 15 to 30. Otosclerosis usually affects both ears.

Risks include pregnancy (which may trigger onset) and a family history of hearing loss. Caucasians are more susceptible than others to otosclerosis.

Mom's doing well

Mom just went home and we are unwinding before bed. It's been a week of ups and downs...mostly ups! Thursday at dinner, Mom was very frustrated. She was tired of being old, wanted to double check details of her funeral and her will. Friday, she over slept and missed exercise class, but other than that she was in a great mood and ate a huge dinner. Saturday, another great day. She went to lunch with Jill and Jennifer and has been happy and alert since Friday morning. They are going to reduce her new medication again this week, hoping to keep her happy and wake in time for exercise class. We'll see how it goes. So much of Mom's condition is connected to depression. Last Thursday the activity director was out, so she had a day to think. The busier she is...the happier she is. She had a busy weekend, and it looks like next weekend will be just as busy. Speaking of busy...something I need to share with you all, especially any of my female cousins. I am going to have surgery on my right ear. The doctor says the condition is usually genetic and happens in more females than men. He said it is gradual and my hearing problem probably started in my twenties or thirties. If any of you have trouble with your ears and believe it to be chronic sinus or allergy problems, you might want to see an ENT for a hearing test. They can replace a bone in the ear with good results, but don't put it off, because if health and age are against you, they can only suggest a hearing aid. The doctors walk a fine line trying to keep her spirits up, without harming her memory or making her lethargic. Please keep her in your prayers. Sleep well. Marsha