Not the Waltons

It's difficult to update you about Mom's life without discussing the family discord. I've included happy things about Judy and Mom, but I'm uncomfortable discussing the "non Walton" aspects of our family, so I've decided to continue the Blog including neither good nor sad aspects of their relationship.

The blog will be about Mom's adventures with aging, and my adventures with Mom.

She was depressed most of the week, but she had a pretty good weekend. Friday night we went to the closing of her favorite restaurant and listened to a Jazz band. Anytime Mom was invited to dinner on Friday night, she would tell them she came for the food not the music...now she wishes she had made Friday night a regular date...the music was outstanding!

Mom was so cute. They gave her strawberry shortcake and when she'd eat the strawberries and whipped cream off the cake they would bring her a new bowl of berries and cream. Saturday we got her hair done, she spent Sunday afternoon watching South Pacific, and trying on some new clothes...she does like new clothes! Cleaning out her closet is on my list of things to do...soon!

Marsha

Blessings!

Not a great week...Mom's favorite restaurant is closing for two months...gonna be a long 8 weeks! Linda told Mom she would come to Spring Arbor and bring food for Mom and her friends, so that will be a nice treat.

We had dinner there last night while Linda (the owner) told Mom funny stories about particular customers. It's a small neighborhood restaurant, so Linda is pleased the Mayor of Durham and Chancellor of UNC eat there.

We've had many blessings this week: friends, and more friends, laughter, shopping, and some great food! Mom has some new clothes.

My husband is ... exceptional!!! My friends are ... angels!!!

Please keep my mother-in-law, Mary, in your prayers!

Take care!
Marsha

Stay away from WalMart!

The lady is red is Helen, Mom's best friend and first cousin. They've been best friends for 86 years. Helen fell in WalMart the other day and fractured her arm. Mary, my mother-in-law, had her stroke in WalMart.

Stay safe....shop at Target!

What a difference a day makes!

It's amazing how life goes on day after day and then, in a heart beat, it turns up side down. We're still in shock over my mother-in-laws stroke and quietly waiting for the swelling to reduce on her brain. They say it's best for Mary if we do not come to Maine for a few more weeks. She has loved ones around her now...she cannot communicate, and in a few weeks she will need us to help her adjust to rehab.

But, other than Mary, it's been a good day. Judy, Norma, Jill, Catherine, and Jennifer spent the day with Mom. I was concerned they would not see her at her best, because she was nervous about the visit, and her memory has been much worse as the days went by. I saw her this morning and she couldn't remember what day it was, and briefly forgot they were coming, but she did notice I had on new shoes...she remembers important things like clothes and food.

Mom just called and couldn't remember much about her day, but she was happy...so they didn't see her in top mental form, but they got to see her happy, and her smiling will make a nicer memory. She said she bought an outfit, but couldn't remember what it looked like. She was excited about looking in the bag again because it would be a surprise.

She's an amazing lady...plays the cards she's dealt, and plays them with style and grace.

Sleep well!
Marsha

That Job Thing...

This week has been stressful for Mom, myself, Dave and his family...plus a few problems with work and a couple seriously ill friends.

Years ago I had a student assistant who is in her thirties now. I love her very much... She called this week to tell me she had a miscarriage, she went on to tell me about a lady in her yoga class, who told her she had to change to a new class because her husband was having an affair with someone he met in the joint class, the lady was in her 50s getting a divorce and has cancer. It made my friend realize life could be worse...she said the lady "had that Job thing going." Until the day I die I will remember that line.

At one time or another everyone has "that Job thing going."

I told my husband when Job had all of his problems he never complained. Dave said that's why Job is in the Bible and we aren't.

Wanted: Guardian Angel ASAP

Our guardian angel requested a transfer today...it's sad. The last one volunteered for Iraq.

Mom had a dental appointment at 8:00, so I called Spring Arbor at 6:30 asking them to wake Mom for her appointment...they didn't. I arrived at 7:30 to find her in her bathrobe eating breakfast. Our angel pulled out all the stops and we were just 10 minutes late for the appointment.

Mom teeth are fine. I got her nails done after work, forgetting I had changed her hair appointment to tonight. Thankfully, our angel found someone to take her for her new hair appointment at 9:00 A.M. Friday.

My nails were wet...Mom had to go to the restroom...we made it!!!

I got home from at 8:30, ate supper and 15 minutes later, we received a call telling us my mother-in-law had a stroke today...in WalMart. Mary would like that. My mother-in-law is an amazing, tough lady. I hope when she dies, it's in WalMart or playing Bingo or Cribbage. She sure wouldn't want to waste time dying at home.

It's been a long day...please pray for Mary, Mom, and me.
Marsha

She does love to eat!!!

It's only Tuesday, but we've had a BIG week. Mom and I have a system...she hides things, forgets where, and I hunt until I find it for her. Yesterday's adventure was a small one and I found her necklace in record time, which was fortunate, because I was on my lunch hour. The rest of my day was spent at work, while she had exercise, soccer, bible study and Bingo.

I don't know everything she did today. I do know they listened to Elvis and had popcorn.

We were scheduled to go out to dinner, but when I picked her up she'd forgotten and was eating supper. She was sooooo funny. I told her we could go to dinner another night and she said --- NO! She passed her fruit to the lady across the table and told her suite mate she was going to get some good food.

We went to Briggs, an award winning restaurant, and Mom had strawberry shortcake. I don't know how to tell you the size of this serving. It was cake, ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream and filled an entire dinner plate!!! Mom loves to eat and she finished about two thirds of that cake, making sure she got every strawberry.

Mom told me not long ago, that if she lost her appetite to go ahead and order the flowers, because that would be the sign she's on her way out. Dave and I tease her because she always says she can't possible eat all of that...and everytime she cleans her plate. Except at her favorite restaurant, The Flavor of New Orleans, and that's because the chef gives her double servings of oysters and crab cakes.

She once asked me if I thought Linda, the chef/owner liked her so much because she's old. We decided probably because she's old and sweet, and since old gets you very little in life...take the extra crab cake and the hugs and have a nice lunch!

Sleep well. I just talked to Mom and she's snuggled in watching TV and reading a book her friend Helen sent to her.

Nite,
Marsha

PS Tomorrow: 8:00 A.M...the dentist...I sure hope I don't forget!

Shifting gears

Dave is taking Mom home and I'm shifting gears, ending the weekend and preparing for tomorrow. This coming week will be busy. Mom has a dental appointment on Wednesday, and she's getting excited about Judy and Norma, a long time family friend, coming to see her next weekend.

Mom started getting excited Thursday while telling Diane about doing Norma's hair and how Norma would giggle. I"m getting her nails done after work on Wednesday and her normal hair appointment on Thursday evening. She'll spend the week trying to decide what to wear, and we'll probably take her to dinner on Tuesday evening.

It's been a very nice, but very long day. Mom loves company, and tonight we had a cookout with friends who have a 7 yr old, 4 yr old and a 2 yr old. They are very very sweet children and I get tired just watching them.

I'm trying to write often for the first few weeks, so you all will get an idea of Mom's life. Next week I'll try to fill you in on Spring Arbor activities.

Good Night,
Marsha

Mom and Tiger Woods

Mom, with Wyatt. This photo was taken a couple of weeks ago. She isn't able to play with him, but he doesn't care...he adores her.

Mom spends all day Saturday with us and goes home in time to watch her Saturday night shows. The Gaithers are on twice, with Lawence Welk sandwiched in at 7:00.

On Sunday, she calls when Sunday School is over (she's in charge of taking attendance) and stays until after supper...she likes Spring Arbor and its activities, but the food is a topic all it own.

You will be surprised to discover she loves golf! I seldom leave the living room that I'm not called back in to watch someone putt. She gets very excited and cheers for everyone. She's concerned about Tiger Woods; his father died and until last week he either wasn't playing, or wasn't playing well. Tiger will never know a little old lady in North Carolina is one of his biggest fans.

Marsha 

"Girls' Night Out"

Last night we met two friends for dinner and Mom commented how nice it is to have friends like she had at home. She is a social butterfly, which I find unusual since she's so quiet and somewhat shy.

Diane is her hairdresser and always makes Mom laugh! Jennifer is more difficult to introduce to you. She was my student assistant, but she has a law degree and a library degree, plus worked for several years, so she isn't a typical 20 yr old college student. Jennifer is wonderful at keeping Mom in the conversation and watching over her like a young mother hen.

We went to Mom's favorite restaurant, where the owner/chef considers herself part of Mom's family. She serves Mom extra food, so she has leftovers for lunch; plus, cake or pie to enjoy after she gets home.

Mom had a nice evening...tonight is hair night so she'll get to see Diane again.

Later,
Marsha

Mom

Mom at her 86th birthday dinner in June. 

RC Cola and Moon Pies

This afternoon was a little stressful, but the day ended well. Mom forgot she wanted a dental appointment to check her dentures. And to make matters worse, the appointment was the same time as the RC Cola Moon Pie Social.

She missed the social, but thankfully, the dentist was quick and she made it back in time for the before dinner games. We took her a piece of pie after supper and she was in better spirits. I left her curled up in her robe, book in one hand and apple pie in the other.

She goes back next week to have her teeth worked on...I sure hope she doesn't forget it was her idea! I scheduled it for 8:00 AM, so the only thing she might miss is exercise class. The good news is that her 40 yr old dentures are still in good condition...just some fine tuning and she'll be back to eating whatever suits her fancy!

Marsha

Mom and Wyatt

Mom and Wyatt working a puzzle. He adores her and just yesterday snuggled up beside her to drink his juice.

A Generation of Jugglers

They call this the "sandwich generation" but I don't feel like a "sandwich" I feel like a juggler, juggling family and work, side by side, with friends and laundry. Each responsibility takes priority over the others at one time or another.

This Blog is meant to update those who want updates, without the concern of leaving someone out or telling someone else twice.

This is one serious step in my battle to be organized. Our little house is another step. We've decided to only keep objects we love...if an object doesn't make us smile, it obviously needs a new home where it will be appreciated.

I hoped to weed out some of Mom's possessions, but she simply stated she was still alive and they still belong to her, and the discussion ended as quickly as it started.

Photos will be added in future updates, helping you all understand Mom's life and introducing you to her new friends.

Marsha